Living Divine in 2009!

Well, constant reader, another year has come and gone. Alas, I feel I don't have much to show for it.

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living."
—Gail Sheehy

Ain't that the truth?

So this year is going to be different. I know I've said that a thousand times before. But this time, change has to take place. I spent most of 2008 in a dark depressive funk, one in which I didn't think I'd be able to drag myself out of. I wasn't even looking forward to the holidays.


DD had to put up all the Christmas decorations (which we took down today, by the way). If it weren't for her, we probably wouldn't have decorated at all; possibly, we wouldn't have even had a Christmas.

But somehow, it all came together, in spite of my negativity.

So, you ask, what has changed me today as compared to yesterday?

Several things, most notably, I'm damn sick and tired of feeling mentally like shit and feeling like I can't do anything about it. Yesterday, as I reflected on 2008, I realized that yet another year had went by (in a blink), and I had nothing to show for it. I didn't go anywhere new; I didn't learn anything new (except knitting); and most of all, I am stuck in the same patterns of behavior—which lead nowhere except to the Well of Self-Pity.

I hardly journaled at all last year. So many days are lost because I didn't record them. I don't know how I fell out of the habit, but somehow I did, and that was not fun to realize. Keeping a journal is important to me, so that is one habit I will be taking back up this year in 2009.

Also, I plan to focus on my spirituality, spending more time in quiet contemplation, while living in the world. Being a kinder, less reactive person will be difficult for me to accomplish, but it will happen.

Getting our finances in order is my number one priority. DH & I plan to take a Financial Peace University class offered at the bank, and I think it will not only help our finances, but help our relationship as well.

This will be a year of change; I plan to keep a record here on this blog.

Today, I began by simply taking a walk around the neighborhood. It wasn't too cold. DD went with me. We had fun. The earth is in repose now, waiting patiently for spring. I feel that I've been waiting far too long for my own spring to come, but now, it's finally here.

Wish me luck.

Back

Yikes! It's been forever and a day since I posted. Not so good for keeping up with posting every day in 2008.

Let's see...

I had an emergency appendectomy on February 22. I thought I just had the flu, but decided to go to the ER and, 2 hours after I arrived, they said yeah, you have acute appendicitis. Glad to know it was an emergency! I had to take a whole week off work to recover, but thankfully, my gut healed quickly.

I learned to knit in the past few weeks, one of my long-term goals. I joined ravelry.com.

I've sold a few more things on Ebay, but I need to sell more. Like everyone else struggling with finances, gas and food prices are insane. I try not to think about it.

Knitting is better than therapy.

The winter has been long and long and long. I keep waiting for the weather to warm up, but other than seeing a few robins, the cold temperatures drag me down.

I am reading Anais Nin and feeling sorry for myself.